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  • Writer's pictureDeena

New year old you

"Mom, you having a blog really makes me think twice before doing something stupid, so.... that's good!"

This from my youngest while finishing up the dishes her sister forgot from the night before.

"Yes, it is good, but it leaves me with a lot less material," I think to myself.

Hi friends.

How's the New year treating you these days?

That gym membership collecting dust yet?

My Father in law sent my husband and I pictures he found of us from way back when.

I was holding my youngest boy and I can look at that pic and still remember how squishy he was. (Sorry Nathan but you were just so squishy.)

My hair was blown straight and I was rocking the no bang look because I had no idea what I was supposed to look like.

I want to speak right into the picture and tell myself that in almost 20 years I'll be stopped while visiting a church out of town to have someone ask me if my hair was naturally curly and I'll smile because I would have never thought so myself most of my life.

Lo and behold it was just waiting to be allowed to do its thing.

I would tell myself that I will eventually have another girl or two and that I would eventually perfect Earl Grey with cream and raw sugar making my mug the envy of all the kids just like my Pastors' wife's cup was to me.

I'd smile and tell her that t-shirts will never fit right so forget trying to get cute ones with different sayings on them and go for the sweatshirts instead.

I would tell her not to over pluck those eyebrows, that I would finally figure out make-up in my 40's, and that I am an amazing cook.

I just don't know it yet.

That roller skating will come around and make her look like a pro to all of the little church kids, and that I will finally name my last child a name NOT found in the bible because I don't want to be the "odd man out."

Wow. We'd need a good afternoon to catch-up and really settle-in.

Do you ever wonder how the Lord smiles at us when we finally figure out our talents, giftings and allow ourselves to be exactly who God created us to be?

I imagine that it's a little bit like I was the other day when my oldest was teaching teen girls at a local bubble tea shop a week or so ago.

If bubble tea shops are new to you, go for the lavender tea, 75% sweetness and regular tapioca boba.

It slaps. Just trust me on that one.

When daughter number one said she wanted to have a public bible study I realized once again that she was a lot more like her father.

I went because I didn't want her to be disappointed if few showed and I sat with lavender deliciousness in one hand and my bible in the other RIGHT next to the window because she's bold like that and all.

I was sweating FOR her util a couple of girls showed up, got out their notebooks and Abi leaned in to pray.

It was at this moment I remembered that these cute high tables and chairs were not meant for middle-aged short women and wondered how long it would be until my legs completely fell asleep prompting a need to be carried to the car.

"That would be a great ending to her first bible study", I thought.

"Have a great night girls, I have to carry my Mom to the car now."

And while I made a plan to shift my weight every 20 seconds, this girl of mine opened her Ipad, her notebook and her heart and I just sat amazed.

My only thought besides, "this tea is making my life so lovely right now," was, "this is exactly what she was created to do and she doesn't even know it yet."

She's the "cute one."

Someone mentioned it to me after a Nursing home service, "She doesn't even know how cute she is." And she was spot on.

She makes yellow look better than it ever dreamed possible, and her little laugh can set your day on the best path.

She can do anything she sets her mind to, which currently is training to save peoples LIVES, and when she decided to get out in the community to teach whomever came on Monday nights I didn't doubt her for a second.

And in some amazing way, I saw this cute curly-headed stubborn toddler and beautiful poised yet funny woman at the same time, making these crazy uncomfortable chairs look good and the Mifi sweatshirt just put this whole scene over the top for adorableness.

Like, "Just stahhhhhp it already."

This is Abi.

Her stubborn heart for the Lord about made mine jump right out of my chest.

And if it did, I'm confident she'd know what to do with it.

And I wonder if I ever had an ounce of her confidence.

Even a smidge?

It's such a privilege to see our kids using their uniqueness to bring light to a dark world and take a stand for God.

I tried to act calm - this is a huge problem for someone who wears their life on their face - but I sunk into the van I drove separately and it was all I could do to not have a hallelujah fit on the way home.

The truth she shared, the way the girls responded to her, the unapologetic way she didn't care who heard her speak, came in, left or worked there left me without words.

This is my daughter.

My husband does this thing that I love to pieces.

He will at the strangest times take my hands, examining them, turning them over and finally catch my eye to tell me that he's so thankful for them.

It's crazy embarrassing and crazy sweet.

He then proceeds to tell me how many diapers these hands have changed, how many times they've made breakfasts, lunches and dinners,

how they held and nursed six kids and cut his hair a million times or so over 25 years.

He knows the scars from camp games on my left hand and the one on my right from IV's from one C-section or another.

They're getting to look more and more like my Mom's hands these days and I'm alright with that.

And it makes me think about how the Lord loves to see us doing our thing.

He loves to see these hands do what he calls them to do.

It may be dirty dishes, it may be typing you friends, knitting a sock, scrubbing sinks or even making banana bread.

I have had the privilege of standing before ladies and at the first laugh that familiar feeling washes over me again.

It's the feeling of God's smile on me.

It's a feeling that is super hard to explain.

It's the knowing that the God of the universe is so tickled that l am making much of him with my life.

And I know that he looks at me like I looked at my daughter the other night with a full heart and says,

That's my daughter.

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