Polyanna Parents

We are three and one half hours out from the infamous college drop-off for not one but TWO of ours leaving the nest for the first time,

to join their upperclass brother,

making that a total of THREE of our six in college together.

I'm simultaneously saddened and jealous of all of the fun they will have when the two newbies finally figure out where they're supposed to be and when.

Hi Friends.

It's a slightly emotional Thursday as we fly past Indiana's cornfields.

I know what you're thinking, and I DID offer to drive but my sweetheart told me to sit and write and so here I am.

I'm going to pretend that this is because it's thursday and he knows that I want to get back into the swing of things and NOT that he doesn't want to hear three more hours of my 71,000 thoughts on life as of late.

I ALSO offered him his OWN pumpkin Dunkin but he declined and now takes ginormous sips of mine.

Why is it that husbands never savor anything?

They take huge bites of cake, gulps of coffee, instead of allowing their tastebuds wake up a minute.

Okay so that will be for another post....

In other news the newlyweds haven't been more than four feet apart from each other (OR ceased hugging for that matter) since they said "I do," and that makes me immeasurably happy.

I dusted off the very same dress I wore when I left our first daughter at school and as I ironed it I remembered the piece of encouragement dear friends gave us that changed the college drop off for me forever.

Then I was packing up the van for the second time, the first of our girls, and I was having such a time of it.

Having done this the very last August I shamed myself into thinking I should have been a pro by this time.

I’d  made it through the myriad of well-wishers asking me how on earth I would survive without her and got to the "meet and greet" before wanting to run for the hills.

My then sophomore son saw that look on my face, realized that his Mother may just try to corner the college president and ask him why he keeps stealing her children, so he took my arm and led his hangry travel-worn Mom to the parents grazing table.

Over warm cheese chunks and bland cheesecake bites ( the dinner of champions) I shared my real deal heart feels with friends of ours, who went through the very same feels as us.

They told us that in order to make a way through the sad and hard you really DO need to mourn the loss of what was.

It’s a REAL LOSS and it REALLY HURTS, and that is perfectly right to do.

I didn’t even know that it was the permission I needed until the tears began to fall.

I wasn’t a “helicopter Mom,” I was a normal Mom who’d spent the last 18 years making sure they knew how to do practically everything.

Normal Moms need to sit in the sad a bit, flip through the baby pictures from graduation, realize what adulting will look like for them and for YOU,

And allow your heart to see the good, the bad and the ugly while feeling every single feel you need to when you need to feel it.

Sometimes it’s the grocery store cereal isle.

Sometimes it’s over warm cheese and crackers when you don’t want to meet room leaders but want someone to lead YOU out of this feeling of falling completely apart and for goodness sake give parents actual food when they drive all the way from Cleveland.

What I’m saying is that no one needs to pretend to be Polyanna at college drop-offs.

No one's expecting you to play the “Glad game,” and hold it together when you want to hold your daughter’s hand until the very last second.

It’s perfectly fine to tell the husband that you love with all of your heart that he is not allowed to say, “They will be fine,” for another month or so or even a year.

At least not until the NEXT drop off.

(Mom's of many stair-step littles, this stage is navigated by way of Bible promises, prayers and Oreos.

Not necessarily in that order.)

Heading into dorm rooms with numbers 4 and 5 makes me so grateful for the advice that was handed to me by parents who knew a thing or two.

And I now hand it over to you.

And the Lord holds your hand as you navigate the drop offs.

Isaiah 41:13- “For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.”

The Lord has helped me in so many ways to see that our kids following hard after Him is magical.

He will help you too friend.

You followed him yourself and that was before Amazon could deliver you new underwear in two day’s time.

You made it and so will they.

You thrived and so will they.

They will see God for themselves and that’s a precious missing piece of growing up at home that needs put into place.

They will become better people and you will become a better Mom.

So if you need me I’ll be swallowing  a few lumps today.

I'll be telling too many people too many unsolicited things about how I'm feeling because that's who I am.

I’ll be shoving storage containers filled with more shoes than any human should own under already crammed beds.

I’m right there with you feeling all of the things and giving myself space to grieve the loss of two more crazies from the nest,

And not condemning myself for it either.

As a side note, this dear school either reads the blog or the Lord brought a food revival because now they have a parent’s DINNER when you drop off your kiddos,

And all God’s people said, “Amen.”