Updated: Mar 19
We missed a Thursday visiting the older kids at school, but here I am again in my little nook, with tea and too many disgruntled kids headed to church to do school.
Of course they couldn't find their shoes, or teacher keys, or good attitudes to take with them.
Some days are just like that.
Some are wonderful.
Days where the chai is the correct ratio of cream and tea, and the raw sugar is perfection swirling through each sip.
Where no one is grumpy and songs- bazillions of them- are sung around each corner and each bathroom.
Where clean towels and cereal varieties seem endless.
Where one is heard in angelic tones asking for more time to wrap-up their personal devotional time with the Lord because they are just enjoying it so very much.
Days when you sigh and think you have this thing in.the.bag.
Whatever "bag" that is, I guess. I like to think it's a TJMAXX bag...
Then there are mornings when you go to grab your favorite mug that you pray has actually been washed from the day before only to open the cupboard and just miss a Ball jar flying to the floor and shattering into smitherines.
You pause to wonder how in the world it was waiting like that to just jump to it's doom.
And you cringe because this ball jar was supposed to be returned to the adorable lady at church who brought your youngest homemade applesauce while she recovered from her tonsillectomy.
You weigh the damages and want to cry, "She was just trying to be nice for Pete's sake!"
Where you trip on a bathroom cord belonging to absolutely nothing, almost face planting into the hall closet, looking around making sure no one saw you so you do not have to admit embarrassment.
When your youngest can't find anything to wear but the shirt with hearts that smile and say, "Be YOU," full well knowing that she is THE biggest crab the world has seen and are tempted to make her go and change clothes.
When you pack the lunch basket for the kids and see that there is one solitary piece of colbyjack cheese.
You know that this will inevitably cause WW3, but instead of launching out into, "In MY day we only had ONE kind of cheese and it was wrapped in carcinogenic plastic.." you tuck it behind the two slices of ham left, throw in the PB&J and just hope for the best.
Days when you wonder how ON EARTH you can fight with your sibling over "where they last saw your memory verses you are memorizing for the GLORY OF GOD," anyway.
When you kindly ask your husband not to send the kids home until much after 11:30, when things for me finally seem to be rolling and he replies, "Oh no problem. They are never coming home."
You then tell them you love them and to "choose good spouses in life."
They are not entertained.
When the beautiful breeze sweeps one of your favorite pictures of you and your hubby and it ALSO decides to split into pieces.
And you tell yourself that you are NOT the least bit superstitious and this does not mean that this year's anniversary will be a flop.
No, it will not.
And you tell yourself this three more times.
The cat will stare at you and cry because she doesn't like you and you will also notice a whole sink-full of dishes that daughter number 2 just didn't think were ready for this dishwasher load.
Like, the one that is running with soap and water in it this very moment.
She's thoughtful like that.
Some dishes just need a good soak before going ALL IN.
These are the days.
These are actually THIS DAY to be exact.
But my husband kisses me three times at least and cheers me on into my day off.
And now I am here.
And I am enjoying thinking about two specific opportunities the Lord gave me last week.
One was in a testimony time at a conference we attended.
One young man, in testimony, relayed that he was struggling with insecurities and needed the Lord to help him overcome them.
The Holy Spirit IMMEDIATELY told me what to say to this young man and what Scripture to encourage him with.
A bit nervous not really knowing this young man well, but full well knowing what I was supposed to do, I stepped toward him, introduced myself and shared:
Zephaniah 3:17- “The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.”
I explained that this verse had almost haunted me in the past because I just couldn't assimilate it.
His eyes teared a bit as I told him that WE don't just rest in God's love for us, HE rests in HIS love for US as well.
He loves us so much that the joy of that love causes him to sing over us.
I told him that God is cheering for him.
I hadn't a clue how the Lord would use this very scenario the next evening.
Friday was "college day" at this conference. Truly a fun-filled afternoon ending with a college basketball game.
I need to add here that we are NOT a sports family.
We can kick a soccer ball, sure, and play a fun round of volleyball, but we don't even lean towards "good at sports."
This is why hearing that my oldest son would be playing that evening on the "ALL STAR TEAM," had us all in awe and wondering one of two things:
Either this dear school was as bad at sports as we are,
or Isaac actually did really well that season.
We decided to believe the latter and headed to Target for poster board and markers.
This was the only game I could attend of the season and I was gonna make it one to remember.
I squeezed into the packed bleachers and just happened to be sitting behind Isaac and his teammates.
I remember the moment he saw our signs.
Not fancy, but they each had his name on them.
We were there to cheer our hearts out for HIM.
It was a look I cannot put into words, as much as I wish I could.
It was a look that was grateful, excited and sober all at once.
A look of solidarity- he knowing that I was 100% on his team.
It was quick but it was something I won't soon forget.
Some of the kids got food from the concession stand, some laughed with friends nearby, but not me.
I was too busy slapping sweaty backs of fellas running and passing and playing their best.
Each opportunity Isaac had with the ball was my opportunity to cheer for him as loud and proud as I could.
My cheeks flushed and some even pointed and laughed at my zeal, but I didn't mind.
I wasn't there for them.
I fumbled to find Isaac's water each time he sought for it and jumped up and down when he made a few three-pointers.
It was a wonderful time.
A time of intense praise and admonition and I was enjoying joying over this son.
I sat on the bleachers and felt myself rest in the love that I had for this kid.
This kid who sings too much, who always wanted rough, working hands, who waits til the last minute, who says yes too often, who calls just when I am ready for bed to "catch up," who tries too hard to be everyone's friend, who feels all the feels and did I mention he sings too much?
That kid who drives me up the wall with all of his "Summer plans," is one I so delight in.
And you better believe that the Lord took my mind back to Zephaniah 3 and reminded me that THAT is what it looks like to have the Lord cheering me on.
Verse 13 doesn't touch on all of the reasons we are not worthy of God's ever rejoicing love.
Like when we set our alarm and let it just go off for an hour for the whole house to hear.
(cough, cough, Isaac..)
It doesn't give an ultimatum of what we need to accomplish before he will sit and rest in his love for us.
(please do me a favor and reread that sentence again. It's life changing.)
It doesn't say, you hold up your end of the bargain and I will come and cheer you on.
It simply states that we are loved so much that it brings the Lord to song.
Yes, my imagination has led me down a few rabbit holes wondering exactly what that song looks like.
I'm pretty sure it doesn't sound like "Climb Every Mountain," from the Sound of Music.
And I'm thankful for that even though my Anna Lee will be sad to hear it.
(Anna Lee, no one actually likes that song but you. There. It needed to be said.)
Here's what I DO know.
I know it's a song that reflects the look that I saw on Isaac's face when he saw me with that sign with his name on it.
It's a song that resonates with everything in me knowing that the Lord is FOR me.
That swells this heart with sober gratitude and excitement.
A song that reminds us that we aren't expected to be strong or capable or save ourselves from anything.
He is in our midst to be those things for us.
A song that we cannot possibly put into words, but the Lord can.
Do you see the neon sign in your mind's eye friend?
He is cheering you on today.
The earthly joy and pride I have for my son cannot compare to our Creator rejoicing over one he has specifically created to bring him immense eternal joy.
I cannot hear the song, but I can begin to feel the love that God has for me.
And knowing that He is cheering me on as I wash forgotten dishes, pat crabby grumbling backs, help one look for their verses, makes this Momma heart sing its own praise.