I remember that time a dear family in the church gave my husband and I a beautiful yellow climbing rose bush and then left just after it made it to a solid place in the ground just beyond the back door.
Hi there friends. It's been a hot minute.
A lot has transpired since April's post.
Two grads one Silver Anniversary and an epic surprise trip I'll share once my heart finds it's way from the middle of my throat back to it's original place in my chest.
The amount of growing- emotionally as a family, spiritually for me personally and relationally with each and every member of our crazy clan is sometimes just about enough to make you want to eat Little Debbie fudge rounds until the Lord's returning.
Seriously, I cannot remember a more trying season for this fam than this recent one.
Talk to me about growing pains and I will run for the hills.
Or the snack cabinet.
If you look up "overwhelmed" in the dictionary there a picture of me will greet you, complete with fudge round..... or three.
I sit here with the oldest at Panera and we eat soup, while he makes fun of how many tomatoes are on my sandwich and I wonder if he knows how much I love him.
He's graduated and in and out of town like a real adult and I'm just sitting in my normal spot wondering if what I have to say is even important to the internet.
The crew is spread throughout the US this month and I'm still over here wondering if we need more peanut butter at home.
A week ago I needed a concrete word from the Lord to carry me through yet another opportunity for growth that I was resisting like a root canal.
That's when the Spirit took my hand and led me to John 1:6- "And of his fulness have all we received, and grace for grace."
This last year I've enjoyed a front-row seat to the Master's class of "grace."
See what I did there?
And in this class I was skating by with a solid "B."
No plus no minus, just a solid "B," and I was happy with that.
The Lord reminded me almost daily that grace was available for the taking. It was like a bank that was just down the street. All I needed was my debit card and the ability to get to it.
It sits ready and willing to compass my path, my frustration, my doubts and my fears.
I've learned that in order to let bitterness seep in I must first fail of that grace.
Completely reject it and it's power to supernaturally heal and help and show me a much better way.
Instead of asking for grace for friends and heartbreaking situations I learned to pray that the friend would access that grace- that they would get to the bank and withdraw hoards of it to cover them.
This was wonderful and new-to-me and fun to share with anyone and everyone I talked with.
I'd find myself fearful and stop and reach for grace.
Frustrated? No problem, reach for a pocket-full of grace.
And then I hit a wall too big for me to even find the ability to scale with grace.
Now WELL into my 40's I'm still surprised by how quickly my brain can remember a hurt and bring it to the forefront of my memory.
Sometimes there's no real bow on the end of life's curves.
Sometimes you watch the yellow climbing roses thriving in the heat of the June sun with half a smirk, wondering what you could have done differently- if anything at all.
And in this season the Lord reminds me to "just show up."
And when we do He meets us there.
Not a "fake it til you make it," but a one foot in front of the other knowing that He has the power to take your loaves and fish and bless hundreds you never could with your feeble self.
And in the middle of a crisis of faith in the kitchen the Lord led me to John.
He said, "I know you don't have the ability to even get to the bank. This is crazy hard. The good news is that I actually have an uber to get you TO the grace. I have grace FOR grace."
I wept at the thought of grace FOR grace to do the right thing.
I'm not sure how many Uber lifts you've enjoyed but not one has ever had me wringing my hands wondering if the driver will get me to my destination.
Call me naive, that's fine. I just trust them to get me there.
And I trust grace to carry me to an even bigger storehouse I can bask in.
Number three son had his first opportunity to preach a real deal message recently ( I told you it's been a month!) and in the middle as he began to mention how the Lord shepherds us he completely broke down and the tears streamed until the last prayer to close the meeting.
I felt his relief and sincere gratitude in my own heart for a Savior we all can lean on when life it just too much.
Who picks up our burden and makes it his own.
I don't know what you are staring down today.
What waits just over the horizon that makes you weak in the knees and feel like you have absolutely no faith at all.
One of my favorite old-time preachers, Robert A. Cook reminds me on old recordings of his radio program, "Walk with the King," that faith is simply "risking everything on God."
Every instance I have in scripture shows me that He can be trusted.
Every toe that "shows up" for the first splash of the Jordan sees the amazing power that meets them right where their faith would fail them.
I for one would do well to make more of a concentrated effort to stock up on puffs plus kleenex as I head towards the fifties.
I wish I could travel the country with some sort of fudge round ministry.
But I'll have to settle for this space and this reminder:
There is grace for grace friends.
Grace for grace to say the words, give the hug, take the gospel across the world and across the street.
Grace for every parenting phase tempting you to hide in your closet, every ministry opportunity beyond your own confidence and every marriage bump in your ride together.
I mean, how wonderful is that?
For our 25th our dear congregation gifted us with a beautiful pink rose bush.
I'm excited to watch it grow in the years to come.
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