It was a blur, but I am sure it was indeed a full ham on the floor.
Happy Thursday friends.
By the time you read this Easter will have come and been enjoyed but for me, a teeny bit ahead of schedule, it's smack dab in the middle of the holiday.
And though I was not supplying the ham this year, I couldn't pass up purchasing one for the drop in price this week.
One drop I didn't anticipate was the ham itself tumbling off of the refrigerated shelf as I tossed and turned it over looking for the price tag.
Now I know I'm getting older, but this whole mask thing makes me feel like I can't see well.
It's akin to my Dad and now myself needing the car radio turned down to be able to see where we are going.
Call it what you will, but I did NOT see that ham fly out until it landed smack dab on my daughter's foot.
There are very few times when laughter overtakes me to the point of no return, and this was one of them.
Tears immediately began popping out of my eyes and I pursed my lips to stifle the roars of laughter that would soon appear.
Stunned by the whole, "America's Funniest Videos" moment we just witnessed, my youngest informs me that we needed to move on because "other ladies are looking for hams."
That statement alone did us all in.
I'm not sure what we actually looked like scooting away, but I was doubled over so as not to laugh or toot -whichever came first- (both of which I am known for in hilarious high stress situations) one daughter was giving the "Hunchback of Notre Dame" performance of her life with her Ham foot shuffling , and the other just smiled apologetically to the women wondering what on earth was going on with the hams anyway.
Somehow we grabbed the squished ham (did you know that if you drop a ham it actually squishes!?) and got our cart maneuvered into the cereal isle to rolls of laughter and also to assess the damages.
Hey, if the stone covering the tomb can roll away, why can't our ham?
I seriously haven't laughed that hard in a long time.
We joke that our daughter has "ham-foot-mouth" disease and she intuitively holds her toe whenever I ask her to clean something as if to ham-shame me into letting her rest.
Some days you are well aware that you are on display and others you feel tucked-away and hidden.
I'm picking this post up in a Panera a little ways from home.
I'm enjoying a de-lish breakfast and steaming hot latte, and grateful, but I am finding that it's so much louder and unsettling than home is for me to type a bit.
Two older gentlemen to my right are discussing current events, and three gentlemen in front of me are wondering why on earth someone put something on the internet if they, "didn't want it to be seen anyway!"
The buzz is almost too much for this easily distracted girl to take.
Being home-bound to write for so long has reminded me just how much I do indeed enjoy the quiet of my own home.
I press on because this artichoke quiche ain't gonna eat itself. Someone must suffer these hardships.
It was there at home a few days ago when I heard a "thump" on the front window.
Because I rarely have something covering any possible way for sunlight to enter my house, birds occasionally grab a concussion before heading on their way.
I usually don't give it a second thought.
But for some reason, I felt prompted to go and check on whomever got a "good look" at our kitchen.
And there in the flower bed was a bird I had never laid eyes on before.
I slowly set him on his bitty feet and stroked his back to wake him.
Before you knew it I had this little guy in the palm of my hands checking each wing to see if he was too hurt to fly away.
And gently the Lord met me there in the flower bed, reminding me that just as I saw this little bird, He saw me too.
It was one of those moments with the Lord that catches you right in the throat for the sweet truth of His Word and His presence with us.
There in the flower bed.
Matthew 10:29 and 31 came to mind hunching there with my new friend:
"Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? And one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.
Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows."
I see you there.
While I inspected each wing and foot, the Lord was inspecting me too.
I cannot fully express what that moment felt like- the God who created both I and the bird seeing us, reminding me that He was big enough to handle any bumps that would come my way.
And the girls came out to take some pictures and immediately I told them what the Lord told me there in the dirt.
He sees US.
He knows us and he watches over us.
Psalm 78:4 challenges this Mom: "We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done."
God was showing himself to this Mom and I didn't want to hide what He was telling us on a late school morning.
I decided to take my little guy over to the front steps and just sit there a while with him.
I'm sure this went against every Girl Scout rule I had learned about leaving creatures where they are and not leaving our scent on them, but really, how often do you get to sit and pet a bird for a half an hour?
So, take that Girl Scouts.
And stop making your cookies smaller.
I sold them, I remember what they looked like.
I was in my own little world until I heard footsteps coming around the front of the house.
The Amazon guy.
Is it just me, or do you view the Amazon guys as the "Cool Cats" of the delivery system like I do?
There's the stoic mailman, the hurried UPS guy, and then there's the swaggering, smiling Amazon guy.
Who just happened to see me in all of my "Hot mess-ness" that morning.
My hair was wet and beginning to frizz because I was too lazy to diffuse it, I hadn't a stitch of makeup on, my clothes were a wrinkled mess AND,
And I decided to treat myself and my luggage under my eyes to a bit of a cooling mask that morning.
So I looked like a wet, wrinkled lady with booger-like streaks under her beady eyes.
I was SO aware of my appearance that when I saw the guy I immediately pointed to my eyes and murmured something really nonchalant like,
"uhhhh yeah, uh I was doing these things today... uhhh, yeah."
Totally cool and obviously making a whole lotta sense as he replied,
"Oh, you're cool!"
Well, at least my under eye was cool at that moment.
The rest of me was having a spontaneous hot flash of epic proportions.
To make matters worse, little bird decided to have a little IBS attack right there in my left hand.
I then decided to disregard the fact that he was trying to deliver my "Sheet Scrunchie," so that my fitted sheet would not keep flying off of my mattress, and ask him the most logical question.
"Would you like to pet this bird?"
There you have it. I'm 43 and I can handle awkward like a champ.
Here's the clincher- He DID want to pet the bird!
The four of us hovered there under my front awning, took turns petting the cutest bird you have ever seen and for some odd reason, at that moment, all seemed right with the world.
Before he turned to go, the Amazon guy said something that made me smile.
He said, "Boy, I'm sure glad that little bird has someone like you all to take care of it."
And he turned and left.
My mind went directly to the Lord reminding us that He alone cares for us.
These little humans with crazy hair and eye patches.
I tried to soak all that just happened in, embarrassment and all, and tell my girls,
"Boy, I'm sure glad we have the Lord to take care of us."
I left my little friend to get his bearings and went in to fix all the things and finish school.
When my son who could host his own nature show came home from work I asked him to identify the bird I had never seen before for me.
He found that it is a "Golden-crowned Kinglet."
Can you even?
It's one of the "tiniest birds" and it's uncommon for this bird to find my front yard here in the tippy-top of Northern Ohio.
But it's not uncommon for the King of Kings to meet with us over dirt-filled flower beds, sink-fulls of dishes or even couch-fulls of clothes to be folded.
No matter how tiny we may seem.
What a special reminder that we are precious to our Lord.
YOU are precious friend.
Eye patches and all.